Choke on Fire

I don't know why, but lately that has been the method of hypothetical death I have been choosing to bestow upon my soon to be ex-husband. Ok, yeah, not sure if I mentioned I'm married but yeah, I'm married and to be totally honest, we haven't even started divorce proceedings so technically, he's not even my soon to be ex-husband he's just really my husband I don't live with and sometimes wish would choke on a large flaming ball of fire. Wow, hello run on sentence. Whatever. So here's my little predicament right now; after a short stint of trying to move back to my home state (California) which did not work out for a number of reasons (none of which I'm going to dive into right now) my ex has our only vehicle which leaves me ass out. Now, I don't really mind this, growing up in the Nj/Ny area public transport is pretty good but there are times when it just doesn't work out. Like, for example, tonight.

I'm invited over to a friends house for coffee and a trip to the movies. Although this friend knows most of my situation I haven't really quite let him in on what a spiteful asshole my ex can be. Being that the ex lives around the corner (sucky) I give him a holla to see if I can use the car, even put gas in it. The fucker makes me practically beg for it. God, I hate it. Its like he gets this one thing he can use and he has to milk it for all its worth. What a douche. In all honesty, I really do deserve it (another story we'll get to) so the only thing that keeps me from flying off the handle and shoving a dull rusted pitchfork up his ass is the fact that I really want to use the car. Granted he'll pay for it later in court 'cause I can be one cold hearted bitch.

Ugh, I mean at one point he actually dangled the keys in front of me! If I didn't want the car so bad I would have been livid. Instead, I saw what he was doing. Taking advantage of the last thing he can hold over my head until I get my own car. That fucker. Whatever, he wants to see me squirm, I don't give a shit, I'll squirm. It'll make it that much sweeter when I fuck him up the ass in court. Whose squirmin' now, bitch?!?! (That's what I'll say in my head. Pretty badass, right?)