Stinky Pee

I've been thinking about this whole blog thing for quite a while. I'd sit and think about what I would write, where I wanted it to go and what topics I wanted to talk about. I put so much thought into it, then I'd get discouraged and say, "Fuck this stupid blog shit!" Then it hit me. Who gives a shit what I write about? I mean, at first, I wanted to write about stuff that people wanted to read, then I bounced around this idea of writing a novel about my life. I imagined that would go off in this great memoir kind of way but I could never quite figure out how I'd pull all the pieces of the story together. Well, then I stumbled upon all these super hilarious blogs and I thought to myself, "You know what? My life is fuckin' hysterical." Seriously, most of the shit that happens to me you can't make up. Lots of it is pretty boring we'll talk about that part too.

Ok, so onto stinky pee. Yeah, I really couldn't think of too much to write about so I promised I would write about one of the first things I contemplated today. Stinky pee was it so I'm sticking to my promise. I like to think I'm a girl of my word but in all honestly I usually don't "give my word" so it's a relatively easy thing to stick with. Today, I figured I might as well get in the shower and shave. It's been about a week, a little longer for the vajayjay. Whatever, I'm sure some of are you are grossed out but take a seat, I'm just going to lay it out, you don't like it read another blog. Besides, I've been busy getting my life together and reading other peoples blogs. Don't judge me!

Stinky pee, first let me tell you, in case some of you never thought to do this or like to lie and pretend you don't, I pee in the shower. Don't act all grossed out, most of you do so whatever. I never really got the point of getting naked just to sit on the toilet, pee, flush then get in the shower. Why not just do it all at once? So, I'm in the shower and commence peeing. Its actually a weird feeling, sometimes its warmer than the water but that's beside the point. And the first thing I started to think about is "Wow, whenever I pee after drinking coffee it always smells like cheerios." I really started to wonder about this. Maybe it smelled toasted? Cheerios are toasted so maybe the scents are similar? I know a lot about cheerios because I worked in a day care for about 10 years and small children can chow down on some cheerios. We would feed those kids cheerios as snacks all day long for years. Some kids went to this day care from the time they were born until they reached Kindergarten. Imagine how many cheerios they ingested. Yeah. Wow.

Back on point. Stinky cheerio pee. Does anyone else's pee smell like that? We all get the asparagus pee so don't chime in with something like that. Also, I recently had a UTI and my pee smelled really weird then too. I can't quite put my finger on that scent but it wasn't good and was actually kind of alarming. I had been having a decent amount of anal (another story) around that time so I thought maybe it had something to do with that. It freaked me out. I actually googled "foul smelling urine". It went away so I guess I'm not going to die or anything.

I'm not sure I've gained any readers with all this talk of anal and peeing on myself in the shower it but it felt nice. Also, makes me miss anal. Oh, well, soon enough.